I can't do this anymore. I don't know who to talk to. I miss you so much Collin. I have nobody. You were the person that understood me. Its been months and I still can't believe your gone. I still feel you here with me. I'm in so much pain and it won't go away. I've done so much to make myself numb but it doesn't work anymore. The memories won't fade and I can't keep these thoughts of dying out of my head. I've tried to take control of my life again but I can't. Why is this so hard? I know your in a better place but I need your touch. I need to hear your voice again. Save me

Collin....

i cant stop crying collin. i miss you so much. i call your phone all the time just to hear your voicemail. i pray just to talk to you one more time. when we were going to hang out I was gonna tell you i love you...now i cant. i really hope you can here me in heaven. wait for me? sometimes i think about killing myself just to see you but i know you would hate that. gawsh i have so much to say but it wont all fit. i love you so much. im gonna hate seeing you in that casket thingy tomorrow. i cant believe your really gone.... forever. i cant face this collin. why did you have to die?! i wish i could go back in time and tell you not to get in that car. i wish i could have told you how much i loved you every time we hung out. i took our friendship for granted and i really regret that. from now on im not going to hold my feelings back from anybody. I will tell the truth. I will never hurt myself EVER again because you told me not to. you made such an impact on my life and everyday i think about our time together. Collin, i dont know what im going to do without you. i couldnt even make it through the day......................... UGG! i hate this. why did this have to happen to you. you didnt deserve it Collin. you didnt deserve to go through pain! why does this happen to such good people! ill probably have to send you a message every day to catch you up... i have to go now. i love you Collin and I cant wait to see you in heaven. ♥Livvy